I wrote a whole 280-page book about that, so that's a story for a different day. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being and therefore don't act like one.
At some point in your life, you got pegged as a smart person.
Well, congratulations -- you've just eliminated 95 percent of the world's population as a potential mate, Mr. Even if only 1 percent of those are single enough, good-looking enough, local enough and just all-around cool enough for you, that's over a million people you can date out there. And if you live in a smaller city, it may be just a handful of folks who are going to meet your stringent criteria.
At this point, you have three choices: A) Loosen up B) Do a very thorough search all over the planet and be prepared to move to Duesseldorf OR C) Join a monastery. The purpose of relationship (and perhaps all of life) is to practice the loving. Nobody's asking to lower your standards here; you should still spend time only with worthwhile company.
To put it plainly, you are programmed to reproduce. Let's say by "smart" we mean "in the top 5 percent of the population in terms of intelligence and education." Generally speaking, smart people seek out other smart people to hang out with, simply because they get bored otherwise.
Good results mean kudos, strokes, positive reinforcement, respect from peers, love from parents.
Left untreated, this condition can go on for decades.
I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who still haven't figured out how to create an intimate connection with another human being. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements.
In other words, you need to earn love (or at least lust).
Sadly, no mom, dad or professor teaches us about the power of the well-placed compliment (or put-down), giving attention but not too much attention, being caring without being needy.
Or never bothered to cultivate your sensuality as a woman. Attracting a partner is all about the dance of polarity.